If You're Reading This, It's Already Too Late

It is impossible to insert an awkward silence into a blog post.
Tentative Hello, world! I've been the culmination of evolution ever since Bill Watterson quit, and I recently discovered that I can't decide on whether or not to capitalize the word "it's" in the title of this blog post. Stuff about myself: Any personal information I give out will be fake, so for now let's just say that I'm Albert Einstein. I enjoy dying stupid deaths in video games and hiding under the bed. I have a dog (more or less) and therefore live  in constant danger of being eaten, so if I seem incredibly paranoid at times, I have an excuse. I have achieved infamy several times in the past by making incredibly obscure references that even I am not sure if I completely remember ("I am shocked - that they stole the horse" is one of my favorites) and wishing xkcd would update more often. Now that you are enlightened by all this priceless info, I hope you're not stupid enough to believe that reading this enlightened you. Exclamation Point!
(Wait, should I put that in all caps or not?)